Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of
Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear
the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his
chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days
of high adventure!
N-Spiration: Conan the Barbarian (1982)
About the Film
While there have been many iterations of Robert E. Howard's Conan in visual
media, as might be inferred from the title, this film - starring James Earl
Jones, Sandahl Bergman, Arnold Schwarzenegger as the title character, and many
others. The project was a full decade in the making - having to overcome
lawsuits over who owned the rights to the Conan character (not yet in the
public domain, Howard's death having been only 40 years prior) as well as a
relocation of the entire filming production from Yugoslavia to Spain due to
the instability following the death of communist revolutionary turned
legendary dictator, Tito. However - these investments would pay off in both
the box office, where the film would earn almost quadruple its $20 million
budget, and in cinematic history: inspiring a sequel, spin offs, and
emboldening other, similar epics over the coming decade. And while criticism
of the film was mixed on and following its release, it will be self evident to
any OSR player or referee as to why.
The film is beautiful. Literally.
With production headquartered just outside of Madrid, the film was shot in a
myriad of locations around Spain (coincidentally the inspiration for Howard's
Zingara) - making great use of extensive sets and practical effects to create
a combined perspective both historical and fantastic. In particular, the
Temple of Set where our primary antagonist, Thulsa Doom, resides represented a
$350,000 investment (around $1.2 million in 2023 currency): standing as a 70+
foot tall monument to the dedication of the film makers. Pooled blood for post
battle sequences was sourced from local slaughterhouses. Further - while
agencies were contacted for optical effects - including George Lucas'
Industrial Light & Magic - the use of optical effects was limited
(director John Milius wanting to emphasize the rugged self-reliance of the
primary characters, a spirit akin to Howard's Conan in regards to the Hyborean
gods). To showcase, in a scene where Doom transforms himself into a serpent -
unquestionably a supernatural, fantasy element - a contrast to the grit
aforementioned as the director's preference - was filmed and combined through
four separate sequences: the actor, Jones, sitting; a prosthetic rubber face
distending via a snake-shaped puppet pressing from behind, a man-sized
mechanical snake slithering out from a cast of Doom's robes, and finally
a miniature scale model of the throne set where a live snake matching its
mechanized counterpart. The inclusion of practical effects, the refusal to
accept painted backdrops in lieu of outdoor sets, and the attention to detail
in props and mechanisms creates a truly surreal experience: one in which the
near past might be realized - as though the story of Hyborea might truly
slither its own way, as a priest of Set, into the annals of history.
To compliment the compelling visual esthetic, an amazing musical score
accompanies the film, with its composer, Basil Poledouris, allegedly treating
the film as an opera - where the music and the atmosphere it helped create
played an equal or perhaps greater role than the dialog - working closely with
the director throughout production to ensure that the sound, with its raw
brass and relentless percussion, inspired a sense of energy, of power:
bringing the primal emotions of the viewer into the primal world of Hyborea
long past. While the film was shunned by institutional accolades and awards -
if it deserved one at all, it would have been for the masterful integration of
sight, sound, and rhythm.
Why Conan the Barbarian?
As C.S. Lewis said in On Science Fiction, "To tell how odd things
struck odd people is to have an oddity too much." 1982's
Conan the Barbarian strikes this balance perfectly. In his effort to
portray a world where people get by on their own strength, Milius eschewed
excessive magic - and while there is magic, it does not eclipse the need for
and use of mundane processes or people.
How is that OSR? It is correct to say that magic is intrinsically
everywhere in an OSR game - because you can roll up a level 1 MU or accompany
a level 2 Cleric essentially at the drop of a hat, this implies there is a
deal of wonder to the game world. However - consider the resources available
to a level 1 MU or a level 2 Cleric: by the book, in most OSR and original
systems, that MU is going to have one spell at his disposal; that Cleric, one
miracle granted by his divine patron. Akiro, wizard of the mounds (played by
Mako) is able to convince the spirits to resurrect a dead Conan: an act anyone
would deem supernatural - however that is essentially the only magic you see
him doing in the film.
Thulsa Doom is able to transform into a snake - as described earlier - and is
able to command obeisance and compliance in a manner akin to hypnosis: but
even he is able to use his powers only so many times, relying on the sword
where magic might have offered the solution in a more high-fantasy picture.
Thus - by allowing for magic (aforementioned magic, trinkets in the bazaar,
the witch in the woods...) - but by balancing it with focus elsewhere,
Conan the Barbarian presents a very OSR picture of the world: where
magic can be a solution - and when it occurs, it is frequently an "I Win"
button - however it is a limited resource: and steel is never obsolete.
Further - Conan the Barbarian presents multiple dungeon crawls: reliant
on strength of arms, subterfuge, as well as diplomacy to achieve successful
ends. To illustrate the point while maintaining a semblance of restraint as to
word count, we can examine the raid on the Tower of Set outside Zamora. During
this dungeon crawl alone we see several key tenants of the OSR experience:
-
Conan and Subotai meet Valeria outside the tower - where she likewise plans
to burgle. This can serve two purposes: if she is an NPC wandering monster,
this represents a favorable reaction roll: one resulting in collaboration
with the monster; alternatively, if she is a PC, her player may have missed
the first few sessions - the witch, the tomb of the Atlantean sword, ... -
and is being introduced mid-adventure.
-
In penetrating the tower, Valeria obtains a disguise, posing as one of the
acolytes of Set. This is an example of subterfuge - of non-combat player
solutions - to get closer to the prize. Valeria knows she is outnumbered by
the guards and may be outmatched by the axe-wielding temple priest, Rexor.
She chooses not to test herself, avoiding confrontation through subterfuge:
a classic player tactic.
-
In the bowels of the temple, Conan and Subotai, in search for the prize of
the temple - a large gemstone we come to know as the Eye of the Serpent -
encounter a colossal snake: a full yard in girth and dozens of feet long,
coiling around the gem's resting place. Awakening it by accident and doing
battle with it - we see several concepts in motion: did Conan fail his
Move Silently roll? Did the snake roll a Surprise check and pass,
despite its slumber? Chaos ensues and the battle is won - but then a falling
sacrifice from above alerts others in the temple to the event! This
illustrates - one - that the temple is multi-level: some more dangerous than
others, some containing treasure and others bereft - as well as
demonstrating verticality: shafts, stairs, and other mechanisms to
interconnect and allow for interaction between these levels.
In a sense, the scene in the Tower of Set is almost a perfect picture of an
OSR dungeon crawl: the only thing missing is a fortunate Magic User dropping
the Sleep spell as a mechanism to escape!
Other dungeon crawl elements can be identified - for example, Conan's
acquisition of the Atlantean Sword from a barrow tomb - but the final point I
will highlight as to why Conan the Barbarian will do your game good:
the vincibility of characters. As mentioned above - there is a point at which
Conan dies. As not yet mentioned, there is likewise a point where Valeria
dies. Casualties are a part of a rogues' life - something Valeria alludes to,
as though it is common knowledge among reavers and thieves: a merry life, but
short, when attempting to convince Conan to give up his quest for revenge.
This is something both referenced by the characters and illustrated by the
film: mirroring the experience a low level party (or a higher level party with
appropriate challenges) might likewise expect to encounter.
But is it Conan?
There is always an elephant in the room (or its tower, perhaps, based on
context) whenever talking about Conan the Barbarian: and that is the
question of its fidelity to the source material. In the Howard stories,
Conan has black hair, cropped; in the Milius film, he has flowing brown.
Howard's Conan is described as both intelligent and clever; many complain that
Milius' Conan fails to demonstrate this quickness fairly. While some of these
differences are more superficial than others, undeniably - they arise:
influencing the authenticity of the film.
Conan the Barbarian is not a Conan film, but it is a Howard film.
Tributes to Howard and to Hyborea are made throughout - subtle and unsubtle -
to reinforce its alternative fantasy history. Conan's first opponent when
fighting in the pits of the gladiators is a man whose teeth have been filed to
points: a reference to the cannibal inhabitants of
Shadows in Zamboula (VERIFY). Conan's crucifixion after having been
captured by Thulsa Doom? Homage to Conan's crucifixion following his capture
by Constantius the Koth in A Witch Shall Be Born. Yet... Conan's
comrade and paramour in the film - Valeria - while named after a warrior woman
after whom Conan lusts in Red Nails, behaves more akin to Bêlit from
Queen of the Black Coast: namely, in her romantic arc with Conan, her
death and cremation-style funeral, as well as her brief return from death to
fight by Conan's side in an hour of need.
Further Bêlit contribution to the
film - in Milius' Conan, an ally - Subotai (whose name has no Howard parallel,
but whose character and culture may be based from the Hyrkanians of
Iron Shadows and The Devil in Iron) discuss religion: in
Queen of the Black Coast, this is Bêlit's honor.
Similarly - the primary antagonist of the film, Thulsa Doom - from where does
he hail? Are not the main sorcerous adversaries to Conan Xaltotun (The Hour of the Dragon) or perhaps Thoth Amon (The Phoenix on the Sword)? Thulsa Doom hails
from a posthumous Howard publication - The Cat and the Skull -
originally presented in the King Kull compilation by Lancer Books. Kull
- as a character - is similar to Conan: an outsider, a barbarian, who takes a
throne by force and skill - an earlier character which did not catch on as did
Conan. These would not be the only contributions Kull made to Milius'
Conan the Barbarian - Howard's Conan has no tragic background,
where Howard's Kull is from a tribe destroyed when he was a child: Milius'
Conan, post orphaning, becomes a slave whose physical labors cause him to
develop great strength; Howard's Kull is captured and enslaved as a youth by
Lemurian pirates, where he builds great strength as a galley slave. Milius'
Conan learns to fight in the gladiatorial arena; Howard's Kull - though having
been a pirate and warrior before - is captured in Valusia and fights in the
gladiatorial arena.
Is Milius' Conan the Barbarian then a retelling of Kull? Aptly - the
original script for 1997's Kull the Conqueror starring Kevin Sorbo was
originally intended to be a Conan film to follow 1984's
Conan the Destroyer, but had gotten hung up in developmental snags.
That said - I would argue no. While no Howard scholar, but a Howard fan,
Conan the Barbarian appears to have been written by a Howard fan - one
who took Howardian elements from across the board, tossed them into a mixer,
and added some of his own spices to the recipe: producing an adaptation, an
interpretation of the work and of the character that was his own. Whether that
is fair or not? A moot point - posthumously, more Conan has been written than
ever was written by the original author. Whether it is faithful or not?
Subjective - to the taste of the viewer. Someone who is passionate about
Howard may find the liberties Conan the Barbarian takes to be
distressing - though someone who has no experience with Howard prior may find
it a gateway: rediscovering the pulp classics for themselves after having been
snared by the allure of the film's powerful character and story.
The latter example is my own story - I find Howard's original works
refreshing, electric: but for those memories, for that introduction - perhaps
- I still have a soft spot for the 1982 cinematic adaptation. Whether or not
that spot is soft, hard, or spiny for you will have to wait to be determined
until you see it.
Conclusion
Conan the Barbarian may not be a perfect film - nor can any film truly
encapsulate the experience of adventure around the table when playing your
choice of fantasy adventure game - however Conan is, for the latter purpose,
one of the gleaming examples of how close it can truly come. Not, perhaps, as
inspirational as reading the original Howard texts - enshrined boldly and
proudly in ubiquity in Gary's 1979 Appendix N - but doubtless and verily a
resource in its own right: to inspire your games, to inspire your players, and
to inspire your game. In honor of this, the Garimeter reading for
Conan the Barbarian, 1982, plants itself loosely on the
1.
Howard's Conan, this film is not - but taken in context of its own merits,
watched free from inhibitions of the genre, it stands head and shoulders above
other similar films of the era: with its memorable characters, its amazing
production, and the resonating impression it continues to make through to this
day on home campaigns all over.
Thank you for reading. Delve on!
Conan the Barbarian (1982) is copyright Universal Pictures. Illustration of Conan from The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian by Mark Schultz, published by Del Ray Books and copyright Conan Properties International, LLC. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeons & Dragons, and
D&D and all imagery thereto related are property of Wizards of the Coast. All rights reserved to and by the respective owner parties.
Clerics Wear Ringmail makes no claim of ownership of any sort to any of the
aforementioned media, texts, or images and includes references to them for
review purposes under Fair Use: US Code Title 17, Chapter 107.
The slide-in of Gary... I got from a meme.
of 3,000 gp, 2,000 ep, and 10,000 sp can be harvested by a party willing to
invest the time. Four Ghouls (B35) guard the space.
After a number of rounds equal to the hit dice of the being in the pool, there
is a sudden bass thrum and the ectoplasm disappears. The being must Save vs
Death or be imbued with an essence of morbidity - their skin going sallow,
their flesh growing more gaunt. The affected creature or player will no longer
require sleep and will have infravision out to 30' (or improve existing
infravision by 15', if applicable), but become subject to a -1 penalty to all
rolls while in full sunlight, may not cast spells in full sunlight, and must
eat fresh foods - nothing preserved, e.g. Iron Rations. If Lawful, the
alignment of the character shifts to Neutral immediately and may not return:
but may be changed at a later time to Chaos. If killed, the creature will rise
as a Ghoul after 1+1d6 days.
