08.02 - The Watchtower Under-Dungeon: Progress Point

Managed to get this much done; happy with the result. Entrances marked from the stairs in the Watchtower Compound above, entrance from the well, and another new entrance from the guard shack along the road: a hide-hold originally built to be small, but accidentally connected in to the tunnel warren. No key yet - but will be working on that next.

Squared off areas are available only at night; with the exception of the south-east area: which is cursed otherwise. Walls would be stone or coquina. The natural cavern system - parts of it would be available during the day, other parts - those more closely associated thematically with the dungeon - would be made of fulgurite. A theme is emerging for the Watchtower in my mind - where the storm might not have been natural, or the consequences thereof might have been exacerbated by an underlying corruption that traveled to the new colony with the original ransomed 700.

But that, too, will need to come in the coming weeks.

Game on, all!

08.02 - The Watchtower Compound: Progress Point

This week has been depressingly unproductive on the creative front - but here is the byproduct of the last few days of map-making on the Indigo River. As I'd mentioned a few posts back, it is my intention to start up my Caan game again this summer; potentially even running the adventures here tagged in playtest mode. That in mind, I intend to focus - power through this adventure, get it to the point where I'm happy with it and where someone could pick it up and run it in their game - and then focus on the campaign. Haven't gotten any labeling done - but here are the maps so far.

The Watchtower

To the west side of the map is a small outbuilding - a tool or utility shed capable of housing long rusted tools. The swamp has encroached on it and into the Watchtower, itself, waterlogging the north-western portion of the inside building. The center area, shaded blue, is open to the elements - a courtyard of sorts. At night, a hatch becomes visible allowing the characters into a sub-level that comprises the actual dungeon. Graffiti, a design in the earth, or both should be present to hint for the party that they should come when the moon is out. The east wing, arranged as domiciles, evolved into a medical wing as families completed cabins and farms in the surrounding countryside: the main hospital being on the south-east corner.	Level 0 - Ground Level
On each corner of the second level of the Watchtower are defensible turrets. The dark shaded areas are covered; the dashed edges, railings open to the elements. Inside, the courtyard is still visible - albeit 10 feet below. The room on the east side that appears to jut into the courtyard is open at that point to the elements, covered otherwise.	Level 1 - Defense and Stow
Level 2 - Turret	Level 3 - Lookout
The turret is largely boring - an enclosed space that was used as a way to get to the lookout level. The lookout level has walls, but is likewise open to the elements - providing visibility in all directions as well as opportunity to aim projectile weapons at potential assailants within range. It being 40, 45 feet in the air, a lookout perched therein would be able to see just over 8.5 miles in any direction.

The Barn

Level 0 - Barn

This building would have been one of the first ones erected upon arrival to the settlement. In the center, a space capable of housing and administering to the agrarian and pastoral needs of the colony. On the north side of the barn was the old stable; a large gate - not a door, a character could hop over if they so desired - separates this area from the compound grounds. On the south side of the barn, a garage, perhaps? I haven't worked this one out yet. Maybe this is where smaller live stock, or the dog pen, would be. Again - separated from the grounds by a gate.

Level 1 - Loft

The second level of the barn would be comprised of several tight rooms, converted from the original layout to serve the needs of the remaining occupants following the settling of the community. To the north, a hay loft - with access to the living area. To the south, storage. Unconnected to the living area.

The Charter House

Level 0 - Charter

Level 1 - House

The charter house would have been the pride of the community. Erected from brick, it would have been a way to incorporate new families, new arrivals, while the settlement grew. A multi-family, multi-occupant domicile, it might have evolved into an inn, eventually - had the colony flourished.

Miscellany

Other buildings include the well-house - which, at night, connects to the underground complex, but during the day is a standard well - the blacksmith, a woodcutter, and the cook house. Additionally, along a soiled and decaying path leading east towards the coast, a small house - one of few that still stand. Along the road, others like it would have been seen - overgrown, chimneys alone remaining for the most part, others with varying numbers of walls and in various states of derelict collapse.

Game on!

D&D is for... Whom?

Podcast Name: D&D Is For Nerds Where I Listened: Podbean for Android Where It's Available: SansPantsRadio.com System: D&D 3e

Clothing Only (With Shield)

Thoughts and Review

Sans Pants Radio, a humor podcast network based out of Melbourne in Victoria, Australia, publishes a series of gaming related podcasts updated on a regular basis. In the title D&D Is For Nerds, specifically, a DM attempts to run a somewhat serious game in the face of players who do not take the game seriously: an amusing and enjoyable parody that strikes surprisingly true to life for most DMs, regardless of length or breadth of their experience.

What I Like

The podcast is genuinely funny. If you have been exposed to D&D over the years, witnessed the transition between styles, themes, and parent companies, this podcast will speak to you on that level. At the same time, it does a very good job emulating a "problem player" environment, where a player (or the entire party) feels like it is actively working to undermine the DM with Monty Python references, intentional failure to learn their own abilities, and refusal to engage with the environment and obvious hooks. The answer in the OSR sphere is, for most of these patterns, to kill said character - the game, rules as written, will do that for you - but I can distinctly remember a point in my D&D career when, running in a D&D 3.5 league to support a friendly local gaming store, I genuinely felt pressured to not kill the characters: if I killed them too much, they may not come back to the store! That, coupled with my earliest experiences running D&D - I had tried to come up with large, epic themes in the tone of Lord of the Rings or the Song of Ice and Fire: in order to do that, in order to have consistent cast of characters for my tabletop novel at age 10, killing off characters had to be a careful thing: as it would ruin the narrative, or worse, scare off my players! Looking back on those times now is fun - as I've since been disabused of so many of those notions still plaguing the new school of D&D - and this podcast elicits a lot of fun memories for me of my earliest experiences actually running games.

Additionally, I like the runtime. Episodes - regardless of how long a session might have taken to run - are chunked up into 30 minute segments. For me, specifically, this is handy: 30 minutes is right about the length of my commute. For not me, more generally, this is handy as 30 minutes can fit into a lunch break - so if you wanted to grab something to listen to during the day, it's very easy with this podcast to keep in the loop, to keep the content in the right headspace, and to follow along with the current campaign arc within a short time-frame of listening. The podcast does a good job of chunking itself up in such a way that the transition between episodes does not seem intrusive even when comparable actual play content producers will often produce episodes multiple hours in length, spanning an entire session.

Note, there are some notable exceptions to this run-time rule - especially in the newer episodes, they have bumped the runtime up to about an hour - however it is still consistent and by and large, at 60 minutes, is still eligible for the commentary above.

For those reasons, I would recommend this podcast for its entertainment value - but mostly to fellow DMs who can empathize with the situations presented and who enjoy the occasional Pythonesque derailment.

What I Don't Like

To be clear - and I realize, reading my previous reviews, it's not always clear - the purpose of this review series is twofold: one, to highlight shows, streams, and podcasts that I listen to, or have listened to, that I want to share with whomever takes stock in my opinion or whomever will listen; but second - and more importantly - I wanted to produce a list that I could refer people to that would help them learn about OSR games and the OSR style of play in a fun and easy way. Thus, to be rated highly on the CWR scale, an actual play must be both a good watch (or listen) and educationally faithful to the movement.

D&D Is For Nerds is, quite simply, not OSR.

This podcast will not teach you to hex crawl. This podcast will not focus on emergent narrative. This podcast will not inform player skill through character morbidity, environmental (traps, hazards) nor combat. This podcast will illustrate a DM actively trying to move the game along in a plot-relevant direction: in opposition to the OSR approach, as embodied by putting down some boards for walls, filling the box with sand, and letting the players loose.

For that reason, I do not recommend this podcast for an aspiring OSR player trying to get into the hobby.

In Conclusion

The question that I've been asking myself the whole of the time I've been writing this review - and I'm sure some of you reading might have been asking as well - if this production isn't OSR, nor does it claim to be, why am I taking the time to make a review for it and to post about it in this actual play series?

My experience with this podcast was over the US Independence Day week of 2019; having taken my family up to the North Carolina high country on an escape both from my real job and the Florida heat, I downloaded the first dozen or two episodes and burned through them - playing them through the car's Bluetooth on the way up, on the way down, and around the mountain while driving about as necessary. I can say I did not continue my subscription, nor was I tempted by their Sans Pants Plus subscription service - which adds a tremendous amount of bonus content in addition to removing advertisements from the actual play casts, themselves - but I will say that I did enjoy it for that week on holiday, as it provided a welcome chuckle speaking to an experience I - and presumably other DMs like me - have had; while at the same time inspiring a healthy eye-roll from my non-gamer wife. It may not be for me - but it may be for you: or for a new-school player that you know.

Thus, I would rate D&D Is For Nerds as Clothing Only (With Shield). Clothing only, because it's not useful, from the perspective of learning how D&D was played in the early days of it's life - but with a shield, because it is worth a few episodes on a weekend or trip and I did genuinely enjoy listening to the subset of season 1 that I got through before returning to reality last August.

Game on, everyone!

Save Vs Poison: 20 Themed Traps

Traps are an integral part of the dungeon ecosystem and an old school experience; but there are only so many needles-in-the-lock and razors-on-the-handle that you can take before they become old hat. Provided below is a table of 20 traps themed around poisonous inhalants, injections, and powders that are designed to shake things up.

In game consequences of poison are largely excluded from the below descriptions, with some noticeable exceptions where the trap is intended to produce a certain flair. The idea behind not including the description is - first - typically poison results in death; however second - it encourages you, the DM, to come up with something more suitable for your game, your players, your dungeon, and your play-style.

1d20	Result
1	Bauble of Belladonna A small, durable, padded sack containing 2d3 fragile beads of crystal, approximately one inch each in diameter. The beads are slick to the touch: coated in a salve of deadly nightshade. The beads will crack if handled for more than a few seconds, exposing the handler to the poison.
2	Viper's Throne A seemingly innocuous chair, under the seat of which are two spines, centered where a sitter's mass would rest. The pressure of sitting on the spines will piece the sitter and pressure on the chair causes a virulent ooze to diffuse from holes along their length - exposing the sitter to the poison.
3	Monkshood Mephit A mechanical walking toy with four pointed legs. When activated, the trinket will attempt to climb into the mouth of the nearest breathing entity. If it succeeds, its shell will crack, releasing a poisonous substance - exposing the target to the poison.
4	Newt Fingers A glove or other hand-sized hole appearing to control an entrance, gate, or other mechanism within the area. Inside the apparatus is moist - also inside, a brightly colored newt which, if touched, exposes the character touching it to poison. If the character survives, perhaps they can retrieve the newt and use it for later purposes - however it will continue to expose others to poison along the way and will attempt to flee any adventurer-sized creatures.
5	Galling Net A fishing net, roughly the size of a man (could be larger), with shards of glass, coated in venom. The net is hung below the opening of a pit trap such that the weight of any who fall onto the net will cut them with the glass; exposing them to the poison. Alternatively, the net can be laid to fall when a trigger point is activated, with weights on the corners ensuring piercing by the glass shards.
6	Bear's Claw Rake A metal rod with several sharp "claws" affixed in a row. Hidden behind a door, around a latch, or in a drawer, when the orifice is opened, the rod turns, raking whatever was used to open it, exposing the lacerated target to a noxious substance was rubbed on the claws.
7	Deathcaps and Shriekers The room is full of the debris of fallen rocks and a few clusters of oversized mushrooms - 6 to 18 inches in height - a warm orange in color, that dust the character's boots with a yellow powder if they walk too closely. This powder is toxic; if a character inhales it or touches it without a layer of leather between them and it, they are exposed to the poison. Embedded in each cluster of mushrooms is a shrieker. If one or more of the shriekers shriek, rocks fall from the ceiling - pummeling the mushrooms: which release a cloud of the yellow spores. There is only enough of the stuff for 1d3 disbursements prior to running dry until more are generated over the course of a week or so, but any character within the room or within 5 feet of the entrance will be exposed to the spores.
8	Ivory Death A piano or harpsicord instrument with half a sheet of music. If a character is able to play the keys in such a way as the short melody is complete, the trap is disarmed and access is granted to whatever the trap is hiding. A contact poison has been smeared on the keys such that a character which does not play correctly or makes an error and touches the wrong key will be exposed to it.
9	Hemlock Handkerchief A porous handkerchief infused with a fine white dust. A character interacting with the handkerchief will note a fine white powder with a foul odor that emanates from the cloth: exposing the character and any other characters within 5 feet to the poison.
10	Assassin's Brazier A brass brazier with some ash and some dried fuel; unlit. The ash conceals a toxic substance encased in wax: if the brazier is lit, it will provide light as a torch for one hour; however, any characters in the same room as the brazier after 1d3 turns are exposed to the poison in the form of inhaled fumes.
11	Sonic Sickness The trapped area has large circular membranes along the walls; almost like drum-heads. If a character walks between them, they can hear a low thrumming. A character which walks through a focal area of the trap must roll vs Poison or be affected by the vibratto, causing nausea and anxiety.
12	Fob of Foxglove A spring-loaded ball on a chain, similar to a locket or pocket watch, is propped to swing or hung in an inconspicuous location. If the point where the chain connects to the ball is disturbed or pulled, the spring causes needle-like spikes to jut out in all directions; anyone pierced thereby being exposed to the poison.
13	False Facemask Ahead, a space three feet lower than the current space, filled with a turgid, heavy mist. A poorly concealed secret compartment houses small cloth facemasks. The mist is actually harmless - however any character that dons a facemask is exposed to a hallucinogenic poison, onset after 1d4 turns.
14	Mandrake Music Box A small box with six keys. When a key is pressed, a chime is heard; each with its own distinct pitch. If they are pressed in the correct order, the top opens and a jack-in-the-box presents a hard, baked biscuit. The biscuit is poisoned.
15	Hellebore Helm A wooden ship's wheel, the spokes curiously narrowed not unlike blades, mounted decoratively on the wall. A trigger plate connects an axle beneath the floor and up the wall such that the weight of someone stepping on it causes the helm to spin. Several compartments within the helm contain a powdered irritant that is dumped and sprayed into the room by the spinning wheel as though dumped into a fan. Man-sized creatures triggering the trap will expose anything in a 10 foot cone in front of the wheel to the poison; halfling-sized creatures will expose only a 5 foot cone.
16	Liar's Mirror This mirror - oval shaped, as a vanity - with a moderately decorative frame. However, if a character looks into it, they will see a horrid deformity on their face that isn't truly there. If the character moves closer to the mirror to inspect, the deformity appears worse, but more subtle. If a character touches the mirror or the frame, quicksilver runs off of the mirror and seeps into the skin of said character - exposing them to poison.
17	Scorpion Seal A metal apparatus shaped like a scorpion sitting on the seam of a double-door in the place of a knob or latch. The claws are mobile, allowing them to be opened and closed. If a character pulls on the stinger, one of the following effects occur  based on the configuration of the claws: If the left claw of the scorpion is closed and the right opened, the left door will open. If the right claw of the scorpion is closed and the left opened, the stinger extends a spine, exposing the user to poison. If both claws are open, the carapace of the scorpion seal opens, dumping 2d6 live (and angry) scorpions onto the floor. If both claws are closed, nothing happens. Roll randomly to determine the initial state of the seal.
18	Hidden Rotating Door A door, hidden in a bookcase or other inconspicuous location, turns like a revolving door to allow access to the behind. If the door is pushed from the right side, it will rotate 180 degrees and then lock when the character can see through to the other side. If the door is pushed from the left side, it will rotate 90 degrees - just enough to isolate the character in a confined space - and then lock, spraying a toxic mist from a vent in the ceiling. A character sprayed in such a manner is exposed to toxin.
19	Strychnine Streamers A hall or room with paper streamers hanging from ceiling to floor of various muted colors - as though a party had been held. One color in particular, though, of these paper streamers have been coated with poison. A character walking through the streamers without having disposed of them will be exposed to the contact poison - as well as potential paper cuts.
20	Laudanum Ladder A rope ladder, made of satin, hangs from firm grips leading up a considerable distance to a desirable outcome: perhaps a ledge with treasure or a new level of the dungeon. The satin is saturated with opioid oils. A character climbing the ladder is exposed to the poison and must save or fall.

Happy poisoning!

Adapted from Plague doctor as a quack.
Original image licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license
by Wellcome Images at the following Gallery Link.

Public domain art piece of a medical vial respectfully pilfered from the National Gallery of Art on April 8, 2020. Attribution in alt text. Plague doctor as a quack, original piece, loaded from Wikimedia Commons and adapted for use on April 8, 2020: cropping borders to better fit the medium. Neither Wikimedia Commons nor the content credit, Wellcome Images, endorses nor is aware of the adaptation and/or use herein.

Districts and Downtowns: Service Provider NPCs and a Procedure to Generate Them

Quick Reference (or, TL;DR)

The purpose of this post is to provide a quick reference sheet to allow immediate (or perhaps on the fly) indication of service providers in base towns and procedural generation of NPCs to fill those service provider roles. To provide that quick reference, when generating an NPC: roll a fistful of dice - 1d4, 1d6, 1d8, 1d%, and 1d20 - combine the results on the following grid, and enjoy your new NPC.

For a more comprehensive review of the motives, rationale, and explanation for the table results, read on into Districts & Downtowns below.

Public domain artwork respectfully pilfered from the National Gallery of Art on or around April 5, 2020. Attributions in alt text.

Verify Common Adventurer Services per Town Population

Blacksmith: 1 per 1,200	Inn: 1 per 1,200	Leveled Healer: 1 per 3,600
Wood Worker: 1 per 400	Tavern: 1 per 1,200	Porter or Laborer: 1 per 400
Leather Worker: 1 per 400	Merchant: 1 per 1,200	Fletcher: 1 per 1,200

Generate an NPC!

1d6 Sex 1-4 Male 5-6 Female

1d8 Race 1 Dwarf 2 Halfling 3-6 Human 7 Halfling 8 Elf

1d12 Level 1-6 Normal Man 7-9 Level 1 10-11 Level 2 12 Level 3

1d4 Class* 1 Thief 2-3 Fighting Man 4 Magic User

1d% on your preferred name table.

1d20 Physical Characteristic* 1 Has a speech impediment, or is mute, making it difficult to communicate. 2 Has a lingering injury: such as a bone break that didn't heal right. Likely impacts their day to day life. 3 Has a pallor to them - may fall ill more often than most. 4 Has a hump or hunch. May impact mobility or first impressions. 5 Has sensory issues - perhaps problems with vision; hearing; or smell. 6 Has noticeable dandruff - or acne. 7 Has gauged ears or otherwise atypical body modifications. 8 Is left handed. Eww. 9 Has a rotund physique. 10 Has a lean physique.

1d20 Physical Characteristic* (cont.) 11 Has atypically long hair. 12 Has a distinct scar or scarring; does not otherwise impact day to day life. 13 Has a distinct tattoo or distinct tattooing. 14 Has heterochromia iridum. 15 Has abnormal facial hair to the norm. In women, perhaps it is simply its presence. 16 Is bald. 17 Can't sit still. Heals more quickly than is considered normal. 18 Has a rugged, ruddy complexion. Likely does not fall ill often. 19 Has six fingers on one hand; perhaps granting circumstance bonuses to attempted slight of hand. 20 Always smells nice. May impact reaction rolls or similar situations.

* Optional or conditional roll.

Districts & Downtowns

Without cities, settlements, and bases of operation, adventuring becomes quite the short endeavor, lacking places to recover, re-train, and spend your hard-earned gold! Depending on your setting, you'll likely have several settlements - but any game generally speaking has to have at least one: the keep to your borderlands.

Trying to figure out how many buildings there should be, figuring out how many of a given service type should be available, deciding demographics - all of these activities factor into the generation of the town: and all of these activities take time and thought. If you are like me - you like to make towns unique, to make the NPC population memorable: something that draws out the town-creation process and postpones play.

Better, then, that a town should have a mechanism to procedurally generate its occupants the same way that dungeons have procedural mechanisms to populate them. Better then to have a set of rulings that define the population, its demographics, the services available to them in an organic way: producing a unique cast from which an emergent environment can be embellished.

Provided here are the mechanisms I use.

Procedural Generation of the Township

Town Population

Towns spring up because people gather together to exchange goods and services. For that reason, the population of the town should be used as a vague guide on the availability of services. Conventional wisdom gives the following guidance on town populations based on a size descriptor:

Town Size	Population Range
Village	1,000 or fewer
Town	1,001 to 5,000
City	5,001 to 15,000
Metropolis	15,001 or more

The population of the town is up to you - although I have a system  that I use for that, too, said system is outside the intended scope of this article.

Service Availability

Service Probability

Services in town - including weaponsmithing, food and drink, lodging, etc. - and their availability are based on the population of the town in question: as more people means more economic activity, and thus more demand for them.

Each service, or good provider, has a service probability threshold.
The service probability threshold is the number of people typically required to sustain one instance of the given business.

For each service that the player characters might utilize, divide the total population of the town by the service probability threshold of the service in question.

• Any whole integer represents a single option.
• Then, roll 1d% - if the result is equal to or less than the remaining decimal (rounded to the nearest hundredth), another option has sprung up.

Thus, in a town of 4,300 people, a blacksmith, say - with a service probability of, say, 1,200 - would have 3.58 active blacksmiths - 4,300 divided by 1,200 - or, 3 blacksmiths guaranteed and an 58% chance of a third blacksmith.

 

What Should my Service Probability Be?

For the purposes of simplicity, common services the PCs might be interested in can be grouped into several key categories: Village services, Town services, City services, and Metropolis services.

• A Village service is a relatively common need that requires some degree of specialization to successfully produce. Thus, home-industrialists will only rarely fill these roles and a specialist who can produce it will frequently be found in most villages.
• A Town service provides for a need that is still relatively common, but may be more easily reproduced by home-industrialists or rely on a higher throughput of customers to sustain it: thus, it is unlikely to find one in country villages, but fairly common among towns at crossroads or along highly traveled routes.
• A City service is thus a service that is likely to be found in cities, but not smaller communities.
• A Metropolis service, lastly, is a service that is likely to be found only in the largest communities.

Service probability suggestions and a list of common examples for service types is provided below:

Service Level	Service Probability	Non-Exhaustive Examples
Village	400	barber, clergy, clothier, healer, leatherworker, porter
Town	1,200	blacksmith, inn, lawyer, physician, tavern
City	3,600	engineer, jeweler, locksmith, sage, winery
Metropolis	10,800	bookseller, magic shoppe

External Resource Shout Out

There was an absolutely fabulous world-building resource I had bookmarked ages ago that broke this down based on an actual census of Paris in the middle ages. These numbers were used to genereate the service level probability categories - but the original resource had broken it down much more so, based off of profession - giving a specific number for bakers, for shoe-makers, for illuminators...

After a couple days of on and off searching, I am unable to find the original resource. There are a dozen programs that appear to randomly generate kingdom data using the information from said resource - and I have written down in a Word doc from 2010 the relevant formulae - but I do not have the URL handy. If you know the site I'm talking about and have it bookmarked, please send it my way. Would be doing the world a service to provide one more link to it!

2020-05-23: Update!
The following PDF was linked to me, as hosted on Donjon:

Medieval Demographics Made Easy by John Ross
It is not the original web site I remember - as the site I recall, when randomizing population, used d8s rather than d4s - but it does contain all the same information I appear to have pilfered for my Excel sheet in 2010! As I said, the world has been done a service - if you are interested in a more deep dive into medieval demographics, specifically a guide for determining Service Probability, the linked PDF is a goldmine of information and appears to the source material for most of the automatic kingdom generators I've found.

NPC Generator

For each service provided, at least one service provider should be generated. Consider, also, supporting staff based on throughput - for example, a blacksmith in a town where there is a significant mercenary population is likely to have an apprentice or journeyman assistant. A good guide for this is the percentile roll:  

If the town has a 22% chance of having another service provider, but does not have another service provider, it is more likely - perhaps 22% likely - that the service provider has an assistant to keep up with the volume.

Additionally, some services have naturally more staff. Our aforementioned blacksmith can manage their own business - but a tavern master, or an inn keeper, would need support staff: bar staff, cleaning staff, kitchen staff, etc. In terms of how much staff - again, the percentile roll can serve as a guide based on how much business tends to move through the establishment versus how much moves through the competition.

Once the number of necessary NPCs has been determined and their roles preassigned, specifics regarding the so-far blank characters can be rolled.

1. Race

Roll 1d8 and consult the provided table to determine race. The primary races in my home setting, the Caanish Archipelago, are Humans, Dwarves, Elves, and Halflings. Halflings are more common than other demihumans, commonly residing side-by-side in Human settlements. For your setting - or for settlements not primarily Human in demographic - adjust the table accordingly

1d8 Result 1 Dwarf 2 Halfling 3-6 Human 7 Halfling 8 Elf

2. Sex

1d6 Result 1-4 Male 5-6 Female

Roll 1d6 and consult the provided table to determine sex. In the Human regions of Caan, men are overrepresented as adventurers and in trades - if your NPC is filling a role, however, that is more dominated by women, invert the result. Conversely, if you don't want gender disparity in your setting, roll odds/evens instead.

3. Name

Roll 1d% and consult the appropriate name table to determine a character's name.

4. Level (and Age)

1d12 Result 1-6 Normal Man 7-9 Level 1 10-11 Level 2 12 Level 3

Roll 1d12 and consult the provided table to determine the number of hit dice, by level, the NPC has. Most characters will be normal men (or women) - but the occasional classed character should reflect their profession: what did they do to earn those levels - and why did they retire?

For Age, consider the 1d12 roll relative to the range.

• If the roll is on the lower end of the range, such as a 7 for a Level 1 NPC or a 2 for a "Normal Man" - consider that this NPC may be younger than typical for someone in their role.
• If the roll is on the upper end of the range, such as an 11 for a Level 2 NPC or a 5 for a "Normal Man" - consider that this NPC may be older than typical for someone in their role.

This breaks down, of course, for Level 3 - and the table doesn't provide for NPCs of greater than 3 hit dice - but if you are tossing in an NPC of Level 4 or greater, really, that should be on purpose rather than by chance. A Level 4 NPC will be rare - and should likely be a significant community member.

5. Class

If the character has levels, roll 1d4 and consult the provided table to determine the in which class. For race-as-class NPCs, either skip this step and treat them as their racial class or roll anyway, treating "Fighting Man" as their racial class, but treating a Thief or M-U result as a background: indicating they are outliers from their typical kindred.

1d4 Result 1 Thief 2-3 Fighting Man 4 Magic User

For these outliers - why are they here? What motivated their exodus to the borderlands - and why, based on their history, would they be in their current role?

6. Persona or Flair

Roll 1d20 any number of times you see fit and consult the provided table to generate a physical characteristic or personality quirk to set the NPC apart.

1d20 Result 1 Has a speech impediment, or is mute, making it difficult to communicate. 2 Has a lingering injury: such as a bone break that didn't heal right. Likely impacts their day to day life. 3 Has a pallor to them - may fall ill more often than most. 4 Has a hump or hunch. May impact mobility or first impressions. 5 Has sensory issues - perhaps problems with vision; hearing; or smell. 6 Has noticeable dandruff - or acne. 7 Has gauged ears or otherwise atypical body modifications. 8 Is left handed. Eww. 9 Has a rotund physique. 10 Has a lean physique.

1d20 Result 11 Has atypically long hair. 12 Has a distinct scar or scarring; does not otherwise impact day to day life. 13 Has a distinct tattoo or distinct tattooing. 14 Has heterochromia iridum. 15 Has abnormal facial hair to the norm. In women, perhaps it is simply its presence. 16 Is bald. 17 Can't sit still. Heals more quickly than is considered normal. 18 Has a rugged, ruddy complexion. Likely does not fall ill often. 19 Has six fingers on one hand; perhaps granting circumstance bonuses to attempted slight of hand. 20 Always smells nice. May impact reaction rolls or similar situations.

Truthfully, this step is largely optional. By the time you have determined all of the above, often times, something likely to fill this gap will have emerged already, making additional elements simply clutter. To that end, if - by this point - the character and their relationship to the surrounding community is well defined in your head, go with what's in your head; alternatively, if they still feel flat, roll and roll with it until you're comfortable that the NPC is sufficiently organic.

Also - the table above is optional. I almost didn't include the table I like to use, as there are so many blogs and resources out there with NPC traits tables. Use this one - if you like it; use a different one - if you like that one better; or write your own.

Why all the Different Dice?

You could sub out the dice above for an appropriate percentile die - or really, a different die in a multiple, 2-in-12 being equivalent to 1-in-6 and whatnot - without changing the result. If that's better for you - do it. The reason I don't, it means I can roll all six elements at the same time and easily distinguish between them. The same could arguably be accomplished using different colors too - and again, if that works better for you, do it - but for me, I usually like to have a single set of dice at my disposal when I'm preparing a location or adventure: so essentially tossing the dice bag all at once fits my pattern and speeds up the process.

And That's That

Game on, everyone!

Mid-Week Map: Creepy Wizard's Basement

Scale: 10 ft.
Click here for a PDF version of this adventure!

Some traps, mechanisms, and elements lovingly plagiarized from anonymous contributors. Public domain artwork respectfully pilfered from the National Gallery of Art on or around April 1, 2020. Attributions in alt text.

A - Old Altar

Room is 30 foot square. 20 feet in from the entry point is a stone altar, cracked on the south side, which appears unused. A pile of stone rubble lies adjacent, as though part of the ceiling had collapsed onto it. Exits are north, through a stuck door, and south, through a double gate. The gate is embedded in a set of iron bars blocking the hallway south; the gate is chained shut, but the chain and lock are both rusty.

B - Crypt Cells

At the end of a 30 foot hallway from A, an iron grate with an unlocked door opens into a wider space that runs 70 feet east to west and is 10 feet wide. On the south wall are three doors - one 10 feet in (locked), one 30 feet in (locked), and one 50 feet in (unlocked); at the end of the space is a double door leading to C. The double door looks damaged, as though it was locked, but forced open at some point. Along the north wall is a barrier of iron bars that runs for 60 feet. There are no doors to the space behind the north grate, which - in the first 10 feet on either end, deepens at a 45 degree angle until, for the middle 40 feet, the space is 10 feet deep. The floor of the main hall is clean; the floor in the grated off section is coated in a viscous grime.

There are skeletons chained to the wall on the far side of the grate. If any of the doors on the south wall are touched, the grime coalesces onto the long-bones of the skeletons and attacks the party, passing through the iron bars as difficult terrain, as the bones are not necessarily connected and will fit through the gaps. 2d6 appear - stat as Zombie, but they resist Cleric turning. In addition to these monsters, three barrels of wine vinegar stand near the west side; a set of armor racks, one housing silvered chain mail (as chain mail, but will ward off the touch of ghosts) are in the middle, and a set of crates can be seen over near the east corner. The crates contain mostly scrap metal, but also a set of silver cutlery worth 120 gp.

Bi

This space is 15 feet deep and shaped like a wide coffin. From the door in the north wall, the room is 5 feet wide; it widens to 15 feet wide by 10 feet in and then shrinks back to 5 feet wide on the south wall at the termination of the 15 foot room depth. A stone sarcophagus with the lid carved to resemble a human male dominates this space; alongside a single sconce atop a free-standing brass element in the south-west corner.

The lid of the sarcophagus is heavy, but can be removed. Inside is a desiccated corpse in fine garments. The corpse holds a jeweled scepter (400 gp), wears a golden torque (200 gp), and clutches a book. The book is bound in leather and is filled only with blank pages.

Bii

This space is shaped the same as Bi. A bookcase has been toppled over on one side; a wooden pen - 5 by 5 - is propped in the east corner.

Biii

This space is shaped the same as Bi. A stone sarcophagus with the lid carved to resemble a hideous corpse dominates this space. In addition to the sarcophagus is a lightweight end table with stains on the surface and two sconces atop two free-standing brass elements.

The sarcophagus lid is heavy, but can be removed. Inside is a deceased adventurer: clothed and equipped normally, but whose body has been turned entirely to salt. If touched roughly, the salt will break apart. On the person of the salt adventurer is a purse with 40 sp and 15 gp,  a signet ring with an emerald in it (150 gp), and a gilded chain necklace (50 gp). The salt adventurer is wearing leather armor, but has no weapons.

C - The Well

This circular room has a radius of 15 feet. A double door exit exists on the west wall. A secret door - faux stone artfully flush with the actual wall - leads into cave tunnels to the north-east. The room is mostly barren, except for a large well in the center of the room. The water is clear, 30 feet deep, 7 feet in diameter, with walls 4 feet tall off the floor. At the bottom appears to be a sword that glows faintly.

The sword is a trap. It is enchanted to give off continual light as a torch and will not rust, though is otherwise a normal sword. If removed from its setting at the bottom of the well, an iron grate slides shut half-way back up the well, closing off exit. If the sword is dropped, the balance of the blade will guide it (mostly: 85% chance) back into the base; the trap will re-set itself after 3 turns (30 minutes) after the sword is returned to the base. A difficult Strength check (or, perhaps Bend Bars) can force the grate open prematurely.

D - Statue

Main space is 20 feet by 20 feet. To the south is a door to A; to the north-west, a hall heading north - to the north-east, a hall heading east: both of them 10 feet wide. In the center of the room is a statue of Incabulos.

The statue is animated and its eyes follow any magic user or elf it sees. If a magic user or elf comes within striking distance, it will attempt to do so. Stats as Ogre (B40) - except it cannot leave the base to which it is affixed; thus preventing it from striking anyone outside of the 20 by 20 foot area. A thin or nimble character may be able to avoid the statue entirely by simply staying close to the walls.

E - Idol Chamber

West wall runs 5 feet north to south; east wall runs 20 feet north to south. North and south walls extend at an even angle to make the ends meet: the room is 10 feet deep. On the floor is an engraved symbol, 7 feet in diameter, stained by decades of dried blood. In the center of the east wall is a nook - 2 feet wide by 2 feet deep by 4 feet tall - in which is an oversized stone skull: made of basalt, weighing 3,000 coins, with Hessonite garnets for eyes, and with obsidian teeth.

The skull is enchanted. Its jaw can be maneuvered and if it is fed a freshly harvested vital organ, it begins to speak. If the organ is from an animal, it speaks the language of Chaos and jabbers madly; if the organ is from an intelligent being, it speaks any languages that being knew (or knows) and, up to once per day after which, it will answer questions as per the spell Contact Higher Plane, the plane level being determined by the organ the skull was fed:

• Kidney - 3rd (4th, if two at a time)
• Liver - 5th
• Heart - 6th
• Lung - 7th (8th, if two at a time)
• Brain - 9th

If pried out, the eyes are worth 150 gp each; but the statue screams while they are being removed. Upon completion, the jaw goes slack and the teeth fall out, cracking and shattering on the floor. If the eyes are removed, the enchantment is dispelled.

F - Foyer

North and south walls are 20 feet wide, with the north wall open in three narrow halls. East and west walls are 30 feet long. In the center of the west wall is a concave alcove, three feet deep, housing a statue of a gnoll wearing real scale male armor and carrying a spear. Directly opposite on the east wall is a 10 foot section of iron grate leading to G. There is a door in the grate with rods extending into the ceiling and floor to keep it shut. The gnoll's head is moveable - if the head is turned to face the three halls to the north, the rods locking the door will retract. If the head is turned to face the south, a compartment in the south wall will open, spilling 2d3 Giant Crab Spiders (B43) into the room.

G - Auditorium

A hall, 10 feet wide, runs east from the door for 15 feet before opening up to 30 feet wide, north to south, over a 5 foot span. The main room is 20 feet deep beyond that point. An iron brazier, three feet across, sits in the south-east corner, along with a wooden coat rack.

Outside the entry hallway, the ceiling rises to 20 feet; if the characters look, there is an overhanging balcony box (shaded) with no obvious way up. It is bullet shaped, 10 feet square (the casing) and then rounded over another 10 feet (the bullet): in the rounded area, there are three comfortable velvet chairs; in the square area, a round end table with a marble tabletop. On the tabletop is a tea seat of fine porcelain (1,200 gp).

H - Cavern

A natural cavern extends in a north-easterly direction; the walls are irregular and stalagmite/stalactite pairs break up the floor, but it is approximately 10 to 12 feet wide and 40 feet along its south-west to north-west length. Two exits, natural tunnels, lead into the darkness. In the north-east corner, there is a pool of dark liquid. The liquid is inert, but impossible to see through. Under the liquid, there is a short tunnel to I. Anything placed into the liquid comes out cleaner than it was before; clothing is cleaned, swords are shined, a character's skin is fresher and appears more hale, and unprotected inks bleed out of or off of whatever they have been inked onto.

Halfway through the tunnel to I, a chest can be found by a lucky character tucked into a nook in the east wall. The chest is locked - and when opened, will release an acrid gas that will deal 2d6 choking damage to anyone within 10 feet, save vs dragon's breath to avoid - but inside can be found a scroll of Water Breathing, 120 platinum pieces, the mummified paw of an unidentifiable mammal, and seven gold statues depicting rats: their details outlined in jade (350 gp each).

I - Cave

This oblong natural cave is roughly elliptical in shape - running 20 feet east to west by 10 feet north to south. In the north-west corner, there is a cubic stone projection - the corner of L - with a hole in the floor. The floor of L is roughly 3 feet above the floor of I. In the south-east corner, there is a pool of dark liquid - see H - a tunnel under which leads to H. Halfway through the tunnel, a chest can be found, as detailed in H.

J - Aisle

This 10 foot hallway is 80 feet long and 10 feet wide from the west wall to the opening into K. On the north wall of the hall are four doors - the first (unlocked) at 10 feet, the second (locked) at 20 feet, the third (stuck) at 30 feet, and the fourth (stuck) at 40 feet. The doors are iron grates and can be seen through.

On the south wall, there is a concave alcove - 3 feet deep, chest level, 4 feet high - between the relative position of the second and third door. On it, there is a bust, humanoid features, carved uniformly of basalt. If the party touches it, it has a velvety texture, the eyes and mouth open, and it releases a low-pitch wail lasting 10 seconds. Any sentient creatures in J, K, or D will be alerted and a wandering monster check should be made immediately and one additional time on the following turn.

Ji

A five foot wide hall extends 10 feet northward before opening up into a space, 20 feet north to south and 10 feet east to west. Two weapon racks with shields and blunt weapons are propped against the east wall of the larger space, alongside 6 skeletons standing guard. The skeletons will attack anyone who enters the larger space, but will not exit Ji unless the bust in J shouts for them.

Jii

Shaped as Ji. Inside the space is a water bowl similar to what you would give a dog, a pile of hay in the north-east corner, and two elves.

The elves do not know how they got there.

Jiii

Shaped as Ji. Inside the larger space are three man-cages hanging from the ceiling. None are occupied. A blunt pitchfork is lying on the floor.

Jiv

Shaped as Ji. Contains a single skeletal quadruped, about the size of a man-and-a-half, seemingly stitched together using the bones of different animals. Fights as White Ape (B30), but with undead characteristics: such as immunity to sleep and ability to be turned. The creature will attack anything it sees and will force its way out of the stuck door in 1d4 rounds.

Inside the room is a raised platform on which the creature "sleeps" - as well as a thin shaft leading up. The shaft is about four inches in diameter and seems to be oozing in stale air. Under the raised platform is a crystal on a stand which houses the life essence of the creature. If the creature is killed, the crystal can be removed and is worth 1,000 gp.

K - Loom

Evidence of ceiling cave-in has been pushed to the corners of this 30 foot by 30 foot space. To the north-west, a 10 foot hallway leading to J; in the center of the west wall, a 5 foot hall leading to a tee to M or L; both doors are stuck. Near the south wall, a table has been overturned and a weaving loom appears to have been damaged by falling rocks. Behind a pile of debris on the south wall is a hole in the wall large enough for a man to bend over and walk into - leading to C or H, depending on path. It is obscured from view, but if the players interact with the debris or loom, they are likely to notice it.

L - Brig

This 20 by 20 space has chains on the walls and a pillory large enough for three in the center of the space, the third spot occupied by a humanoid skeleton. The floor is stained and a set of thumbscrews lies in the south-east corner. In the south-west corner, a hole in the floor drops 3 feet into I.

M - Master

Room, 20 by 20 feet, with  one obvious exit in the south-west corner. A secret door - faux stone that will slide down, well-disguised against the actual stone wall - is directly opposite the obvious door: in the north-west corner. Electrum coins are strewn across the floor, taking two rounds to find and pocket them all (450 ep).

A cobweb-covered king-size bed with posts, curtains, and a mirror above has its headboard front and center of the east wall. Each of the four bedposts have emeralds (200 gp) at the head. There are vents in the south wall which allow sound to enter M from L; but the sound from M will not conversely carry back. On the west wall, a bathing pool with a grotesque, a large head flanked by cherubs, for a spigot is slowly drooling clear water. In the base of the bathing pool are embedded crystal shards in a pattern, which can be pried out. There are 12 crystals, 10 silver pieces each.

If the tongue of the grotesque is pulled, the hidden door to N opens.

N - Horde

Walk-in closet, 20 feet east to west and 10 feet north to south, opens up after a 5 foot sharp curve west from the secret entrance. A mannequin on the far wall wears two necklaces(50 gp and 75 gp), a bedecked velvet hat (120 gp), and a silk sash embroidered with golden thread (300 gp). On the south wall is a line of clothing - decaying, but still fancy - some still hung, some crumpled on the floor. The clothing on the floor includes several odd leather suits with oddly placed fasteners.

There is a dresser with mirror propped against the north wall. It has four drawers; one of which has writing supplies and inks (100 gp), one of which has parchment and papers that will crumble to dust and shreds if handled, one of which contains a preserved spider, an unidentified salve (poison: if it enters the system, a victim must save vs poison or lose half of their Strength and Constitution), and some sticks of incense (1d6 x 10 gp). Atop the dresser is a silver chain bracelet (20 gp).

The last drawer is noticeably larger than the other three and is locked and trapped. When the drawer is opened, a rake of claws on a spring, grasping any hands that are on or near the handle to the drawer. The claws are connected to an infernal circuit that funnels life force into a crystal embedded behind the desk. Any living thing scraped by the claws must save vs spells or lose 1d4 x 150 XP and feel exhausted for 24 hours. A character reduced below 0 XP is turned to salt - but can be revived by a high level priest if the party brings the detached crystal along with the salt-corpse. When the drawer is closed, the trap resets. Inside the trapped drawer is a pouch containing multicolored emeralds, 12 of them worth 200 gp each; a locked, but not trapped, case containing 400 platinum pieces, 300 electrum pieces, and 1,200 gold pieces; and a dagger (+1, +3 vs magic users and elves), which speaks lies to the mind of anyone who carries it.

The mirror can be used for scrying, but if removed from N, will melt into mercury and quickly seep into the floor.